SelfCare...my take.

Ok let's talk about SELFcare shall we? Now it may seem like a trend or something that's cool to embrace, but personally this is a part of my lifestyle. I am a big advocate and supporter of SELFcare, being a Mental Health Counselor, I take this very seriously and it's important to me. So important, in fact, that I have designed T-shirts aimed at SELFcare and have dedicated proceeds to assist an individual with their Mental Health treatment if finances seems to be an issue ;-). 

I want to start off by letting you know that SELFcare is totally individual, it's not a "one size fits all" type of practice. SELFcare can mean different things to different people, but at the heart of it all, it is NOT selfish and it's intentional. So where do you start?

A lot of us already practice SELFcare, we just may call it something else; it's physical though. Identify what activities you like to do that make you feel good or happy; again it's individual and personal. SELFcare is and can be quite intentional; spend more time if necessary to carve out time to take care of yourself; be kind to yourself. Listen to your body, because it will let you know certain clues like when you're stressed, hurt, tired, fatigued, excitable, etc. I choose to exercise, eat more healthy when I feel that urge to do so; my body usually lets me know lol, refrain from negativity and/or distance myself from it be it temporary or long term, pamper myself (doing my nails, getting them done, or getting a massage.) 

One of the key things that I had to re-learn and then be ok with is saying "No" and also knowing when to say "No" as well. At times I've felt obligated to say yes to people or felt like "No" wasn't an appropriate option, but that's so not true, and it's nothing against others or being mean, which tends to be the mindset of some, but it has everything to do with me being self aware and not taking on too much or being a "yes (wo)man." Believe it or not, there is so much freedom in taking better care of yourself and again.... SELFcare isn't selfish, as a matter of fact, it's the complete opposite! It's an unselfish act of being the best YOU that YOU can be for yourself and others as a result.

Kemi Definition:

SELFcare~ Giving yourself permission to unapologetically take care of yourself; mind, body, and spirit via activities and/or coping skills. 

Pretty straight forward!

Be Blessed Friends.

SELFcare Tee

Fake Love?

I've heard all types of sayings and read memes about "Fake Love" and those who show fake love, blah, blah, blah...but it's nothing new right?! Honestly, back in the day, we called it being "fake" or "not real".  I have a name I like to use..."plastic" or I'll just say "not genuine." I know it seems like I have been on this topic somewhat before, but goes to show where my frustration lies, I have a thing for genuine and authentic people though. You can be f*ed up or just having a bad day, or even having an awesome day but I love the authentic energy I get from a person and I can work with that. 

One thing I have realized within the past couple of years, because I decided to pay more attention to it; which I consider a good and bad thing smh, is that there are individuals that dislike you or have an issue with you because of the way that others love you! Now read it again if ya need to......ok, back? Yes, as weird as that sounds, it's very true. You have to remember and really know that has nothing to do with you, it has everything to do with that individual. Look at it like this, a person who is unhappy with themselves and their own life, cannot be happy for another person genuinely...it's a struggle bus forreal. So if those individuals that are unhappy with themselves see characteristics in another person or persons that are received well by others and they in a sense "want what you have"..we tend to call that coveting, but you get the point, then it makes that person feel some type of way. Those individuals are still deserving of Love though and will even do their best to show you Love too; even if they don't necessarily feel it, they tried.

Don't do like I did and put blame on yourself, thinking it was something that you may have done wrong and internally struggle with the thought that you may have caused this person's unhappiness, then get upset when you can't figure it out and then spew their same unhappiness right back (check yourself); after all misery loves company right? because the fact of the matter is YOU didn't, even if blame is placed on you...don't take it, you can't afford it. One of the many sayings that has always stuck with me is "You are not required to set yourself on fire to keep others warm" #fact. It's not an attack or  a reason to be mean, it's a declaration to yourself and others that its not your job to sacrifice your "being" to make someone else feel better about themselves. If you choose to do so, that is a personal choice. 

(However, if you are the cause or person to blame for someone's unhappiness, then the above wouldn't necessarily apply and a conversation should be had.)

I say all of this to say, keep being bomb af, identify your "people" and keep them around, make new friends, mend relationships if necessary, keep spewing your "good vibes" around, remain positive as much as possible, and if you can't take care of your SELF, don't tell yourself negative things that aren't true, even if others give you a negative script, you don't have to rehearse that to yourself. Spread Love and not Hate.