I Need a Me in my Life - says Me.

Have you ever said to yourself or maybe someone else,

I need a Me in my life?

I have said this to myself a few times before, but thought I’d share with the social media world why I felt or feel this way, and you may find this relatable yourself!

I mean honestly, it’s nothing too deep as to why I feel this way, I mean I think i’m pretty DOPE as a person and if I call you friend, I think I’m a DOPE friend too, yeah I said it! Sometimes you have to give your own self “roses” so to speak, not to brag, be self centered, or conceited, but because I realize how far I’ve come in my journey in life and how much i’ve changed and I don’t have to wait to be affirmed by someone else, I affirm my damn self.

There are many reasons why I would love a “friend or person like me in my life” but I’m only going to focus on a few of those reasons for the sake of not making this a long blog..haha just playing. On a serious note, I admire some of my qualities and characteristics that I’ve wished I could see in others, if i’m being honest. I think it’s okay to have some time for self reflection and appreciate things about yourself versus focusing so much attention on what you need to improve or change. In the past several years i’ve come to appreciate my authenticity and being a genuine soul (good, bad, indifferent) and because of my own personal experiences, growth, and perspective, I found it hard to cultivate relationships that were anything other than…but realized that it was also unfair to others; and actually irrational if you think about it. I also appreciate how I am able to encourage others when they need it and even myself when I need to, listen…I wouldn’t have started half the projects I’ve done if I didn’t encourage myself! I also appreciate my “active listening” skills lol, it’s definitely the therapist in me, and it causes me to tap into my intuitiveness, which I feel is truly a blessing to be able to speak into the life of another person and feel connected enough to do so. Ok, I know I said a few things, but one more quality I appreciate about myself is my ability to show and exercise Empathy, this right here is a blessing and curse lol I am able to understand a person’s story, their experiences and even their behaviors…but also feel EVERYTHING sometimes *face palm* hence why self care is sooo important for me; i’m not new to this, i’m true to this——>”SELF CARE ISN’T SELFISH”

All of those qualities I mentioned above, to me are, are ideally what I would love to see in any relationship I cultivate and aspire to build, in a perfect world I would want a friend like ME ;-) but until then i’ll TRY to continue to show up as the best version of myself for myself and others.

Fake Love?

I've heard all types of sayings and read memes about "Fake Love" and those who show fake love, blah, blah, blah...but it's nothing new right?! Honestly, back in the day, we called it being "fake" or "not real".  I have a name I like to use..."plastic" or I'll just say "not genuine." I know it seems like I have been on this topic somewhat before, but goes to show where my frustration lies, I have a thing for genuine and authentic people though. You can be f*ed up or just having a bad day, or even having an awesome day but I love the authentic energy I get from a person and I can work with that. 

One thing I have realized within the past couple of years, because I decided to pay more attention to it; which I consider a good and bad thing smh, is that there are individuals that dislike you or have an issue with you because of the way that others love you! Now read it again if ya need to......ok, back? Yes, as weird as that sounds, it's very true. You have to remember and really know that has nothing to do with you, it has everything to do with that individual. Look at it like this, a person who is unhappy with themselves and their own life, cannot be happy for another person genuinely...it's a struggle bus forreal. So if those individuals that are unhappy with themselves see characteristics in another person or persons that are received well by others and they in a sense "want what you have"..we tend to call that coveting, but you get the point, then it makes that person feel some type of way. Those individuals are still deserving of Love though and will even do their best to show you Love too; even if they don't necessarily feel it, they tried.

Don't do like I did and put blame on yourself, thinking it was something that you may have done wrong and internally struggle with the thought that you may have caused this person's unhappiness, then get upset when you can't figure it out and then spew their same unhappiness right back (check yourself); after all misery loves company right? because the fact of the matter is YOU didn't, even if blame is placed on you...don't take it, you can't afford it. One of the many sayings that has always stuck with me is "You are not required to set yourself on fire to keep others warm" #fact. It's not an attack or  a reason to be mean, it's a declaration to yourself and others that its not your job to sacrifice your "being" to make someone else feel better about themselves. If you choose to do so, that is a personal choice. 

(However, if you are the cause or person to blame for someone's unhappiness, then the above wouldn't necessarily apply and a conversation should be had.)

I say all of this to say, keep being bomb af, identify your "people" and keep them around, make new friends, mend relationships if necessary, keep spewing your "good vibes" around, remain positive as much as possible, and if you can't take care of your SELF, don't tell yourself negative things that aren't true, even if others give you a negative script, you don't have to rehearse that to yourself. Spread Love and not Hate.