I Need a Me in my Life - says Me.

Have you ever said to yourself or maybe someone else,

I need a Me in my life?

I have said this to myself a few times before, but thought I’d share with the social media world why I felt or feel this way, and you may find this relatable yourself!

I mean honestly, it’s nothing too deep as to why I feel this way, I mean I think i’m pretty DOPE as a person and if I call you friend, I think I’m a DOPE friend too, yeah I said it! Sometimes you have to give your own self “roses” so to speak, not to brag, be self centered, or conceited, but because I realize how far I’ve come in my journey in life and how much i’ve changed and I don’t have to wait to be affirmed by someone else, I affirm my damn self.

There are many reasons why I would love a “friend or person like me in my life” but I’m only going to focus on a few of those reasons for the sake of not making this a long blog..haha just playing. On a serious note, I admire some of my qualities and characteristics that I’ve wished I could see in others, if i’m being honest. I think it’s okay to have some time for self reflection and appreciate things about yourself versus focusing so much attention on what you need to improve or change. In the past several years i’ve come to appreciate my authenticity and being a genuine soul (good, bad, indifferent) and because of my own personal experiences, growth, and perspective, I found it hard to cultivate relationships that were anything other than…but realized that it was also unfair to others; and actually irrational if you think about it. I also appreciate how I am able to encourage others when they need it and even myself when I need to, listen…I wouldn’t have started half the projects I’ve done if I didn’t encourage myself! I also appreciate my “active listening” skills lol, it’s definitely the therapist in me, and it causes me to tap into my intuitiveness, which I feel is truly a blessing to be able to speak into the life of another person and feel connected enough to do so. Ok, I know I said a few things, but one more quality I appreciate about myself is my ability to show and exercise Empathy, this right here is a blessing and curse lol I am able to understand a person’s story, their experiences and even their behaviors…but also feel EVERYTHING sometimes *face palm* hence why self care is sooo important for me; i’m not new to this, i’m true to this——>”SELF CARE ISN’T SELFISH”

All of those qualities I mentioned above, to me are, are ideally what I would love to see in any relationship I cultivate and aspire to build, in a perfect world I would want a friend like ME ;-) but until then i’ll TRY to continue to show up as the best version of myself for myself and others.

SELF-LOVE...okay!

Self Love:

Part 2 of the “Insecure? Let’s talk about it” series.

In my last blog I mentioned SELF-LOVE, but what does that actually consist of? What does it look like? How do I start? are probably questions you may have had or have. There is no one answer that fits all of those questions. The truth is, it will consist of something different and look different to each individual. Also, you start when you are ready to start.

SELF-LOVE is being connected to yourself; it’s unique, it’s intentional, it’s rewarding, it’s refreshing, it’s unapologetic in nature, has no boundaries, and it’s freedom, much like Self Care, right?! I have listed below ways to identify your WHAT, WHY, and HOW to make your SELF-LOVE journey, a fulfilled one.

1. WHAT? Define what loving yourself means first and foremost. Discover and identify what SELF-LOVE looks like for yourself, what do you hope to gain? What are areas in your life, where you need to accept and fall in love with all over again or for the first time! For example, my definition of SELF-LOVE is being okay with every part of what makes me, Me and viewing myself the way God views me. Your definition will be different from mine, but that’s okay!

2. WHY? Your “why” will be your motivation to start and continue on your SELF-LOVE journey so make sure its worth your time, energy, and efforts. Your “why” will not be the same as the next person’s, but again that’s a good thing!

3. HOW? Write a list of all the things you love about yourself right now and then make a list of things that you desire to love about yourself, if you can write a list of things that you love about yourself now, then you have the ability to love other parts of you, no matter what it is, and know it is not just limited to physical attributes. In a previous blog, I mentioned “positive affirmation,” (which is a statement that helps to challenge and overcome self-sabotaging and negative thoughts) as a good way to combat low self-esteem, but it can be a powerful and empowering thing when you use it. Positively affirming yourself, can propel you to have a healthy sense of yourself in the long run. When you positively affirm yourself, you must make sure it is positive ONLY, so no room for self hate or to pick at the things you don’t like about yourself. Again, SELF-LOVE is intentional, by saying “I Am…” you can have freedom to choose whatever realistic word would fit. (ex. I Am worthy, I Am capable of getting through today, etc..) Furthermore, you can devote each week to an aspect of your life (refer to your list you developed with what you desire to love about you); like really dedicate the week to an aspect or part of your life which needs more of your good ol’ lovin’ and attention. Don’t be afraid to remove yourself from negative energy; if you are constantly around negative people and negative energy your self love journey won’t be easy; be intentional about surrounding yourself with others that are encouraging and positive, you need a healthy balance! Do the things that make you happy, forgive yourself from past mistakes, acknowledge your small victories, challenge your negative thoughts should they come (where is the evidence that this thought is true and valid?) and show others love and respect (very rewarding), embrace yourself :-) I’d also like to add that journaling your SELF-LOVE journey is a greaaaaat idea, something to look back on some time later too

HMMMM…I wonder what i’m having for lunch??